School Prep for LGBTQIA+ Families

By Dr. Lee Wells, therapist and co-owner of Mind Chicago and co-author of A Kids Book About Pronouns

The return to school can bring a swirl of emotions for any child—excitement about seeing friends, nervous energy about new teachers or classes, and the bittersweet end of summer freedom. For LGBTQIA+ kids and their families, though, the start of a new school year can also carry some very specific worries, hopes, and questions.

So, as you dust off the backpacks and refresh the lunchboxes, take a moment to check in—not just with your child’s supplies, but with their feelings

Talk Openly About Emotions

First things first: make space for all the feelings. Start a conversation with your child about how they’re feeling as school approaches. Are they excited? Anxious? Curious? Worried? Maybe all of the above?

These talks don’t need to be heavy—they can happen in the car, over ice cream, or during a walk. The goal is to stay connected and let your child know that whatever they’re feeling is valid—and that you’re right there with them.

Restroom & Locker Room Policies: Do the Homework Early

It’s helpful to confirm in advance that your child can access restrooms and locker rooms that align with their gender identity. For younger kids, you’ll likely take the lead on this—contact the school, ask questions, and find solutions that feel safe and respectful. Be sure to include your child in the process in age-appropriate ways.

For older kids and teens, let them decide how involved they want to be. Some may want you to advocate on their behalf, while others might want to take the lead—with you as backup. Either way, your support makes a big difference.

Update Records and Forms

As you fill out the back-to-school forms, double-check that your child’s name, pronouns, and gender are reflected correctly. This helps prevent confusion or harm later. If your child is using a different name or pronouns this year, talk with them about how and when to share that with the school.

If navigating these conversations feels overwhelming—or if you’re not sure where to start—it’s okay to ask for help. A therapist (like someone from our team at Mind Chicago) can support you in making a clear, empowering plan.

Name and Pronouns: Loop In the Adults

Beyond the paperwork, it’s a good idea to ensure that your child’s teachers and other staff members know and use the correct name and pronouns. This might be a conversation your child wants to be part of—or not. Either way, honoring their identity at school sends a powerful message of respect and belonging.

Keep Checking In (About Everything)

Once school starts, keep those conversations going. Ask how things are going not just with classmates or teachers, but with friends, recess, after-school clubs, and yes—even the school play. Being LGBTQIA+ is one part of who your child is, and it’s important not to let it eclipse all the other wonderful, messy, curious parts of being a kid.

Reach Out When You Need Support

Back to school doesn’t have to mean “go it alone.” If you or your child need more support—whether it’s about gender identity, anxiety, or just getting back into the swing of things—our therapists at Mind Chicago are here. We specialize in LGBTQIA+ support and are always happy to be part of your team.

You and your child deserve a school year filled with safety, connection, and joy. Let’s make space for all of it.