PRIDE Skills For Stronger Bonds
Article written by PCIT and PMT Coordinator and Therapist, Courtney Chamerski, LCSW
“Please don’t do that.”
“No, you can’t jump off the couch.”
“Stop it.”
“STOP IT!”
If you’re a parent, you’ve probably heard yourself saying these things—maybe all before breakfast. It’s totally normal to get stuck in a cycle of constant corrections. Most of the time, we’re doing it because we care deeply and want our kids to grow up to be safe, kind, respectful, and resilient. Correction, after all, comes from a deep place of love and protection.
But let’s be real—corrections wear away at our relationships. Repeating the same limits day after day can feel like you’re stuck in a loop. It’s frustrating when it seems like nothing is changing, no matter how many times you say it.
Here’s the encouraging part: research tells us that lasting change doesn’t come just from correction—it comes from connection.
from correction to connection
That’s where Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT) comes in. One of its key skill sets—called the PRIDE skills—are designed to strengthen the relationship between you and your child in ways that naturally promote more helpful behavior.
PRIDE skills aren’t magic, but they can shift the dynamic. They help reduce power struggles, increase cooperation, and create more warmth and trust. While PRIDE skills are often utilized in the context of special time, they are just as powerful when used in your everyday interactions - during family outings, meals, and even morning/nighttime routines.
What are the pride skills
Like so many skills in therapy, PRIDE is an acronym.
P – Praise
R – Reflect
I – Imitate
D – Describe
E – Enjoy
Each of these builds a connection and encourages the behavior you want to see more of. Used consistently, the PRIDE skills can reduce tricky behaviors, such as not listening or cooperating, and can help children feel seen, heard, and valued.
why the pride skills work
The PRIDE skills aren’t about being “soft,” “overly positive,” or “just playing.” They help create a solid emotional foundation. When kids feel connected, they are more likely to listen, persist in challenging tasks, and recover from mistakes.
Research has shown that PRIDE skills:
Increased confidence and self-esteem in kids
Better listening and follow-through
Fewer tantrums and attention-seeking behaviors
Stronger parent-child bonds
Richer, more joyful interactions
Improved language development in younger kids
Sounds pretty good, right?
how to use the pride skills
P is for PRAISE
Use labeled praise to point out exactly what your child did well. It helps them know what to do more of, and it builds their sense of self-worth.
🗣️ “I love how carefully you’re stacking the blocks—that’s great building!”
(Simply saying “Good job” is okay, but more specific praise goes further.)
R is for REFLECT
Repeat or paraphrase what your child says. This shows you’re listening and keeps the conversation going.
🗣️ Child: “I made a big tower!”
🗣️ Parent: “You made a really tall one!”
I is for IMITATE
Join in and do what they’re doing. If they’re lining up cars, grab a car and line it up too. Imitation shows approval and shared interest—it also strengthens the connection without needing words. And it can strategically reinforce your child’s positive behavior.
If your child is building a tower with Magnatiles, grab a few and join in the fun.
D is for Describe
Narrate what your child is doing, like a play-by-play announcer.
🗣️ “You’re adding a red block on top—that makes a roof!”
It keeps them engaged, helps them stay focused on the task, and models language at the same time.
E is for Enjoy
Smile. Laugh. Let yourself have fun. Your enjoyment is incredibly motivating for your child. When they feel your warmth, they’ll want to keep the connection going.
try it during “special time”
What the heck is Special Time?
Special Time is a dedicated period of time where parents give undivided positive attention to their child, typically ranging from 10 to 20 minutes. Science shows that as little as 5 minutes can be an effective intervention for improving challenging behaviors such as not listening and emotional and behavioral difficulties. This time is child-led, meaning the child chooses the activity, and the parent follows their lead without distractions, instructions, or interruption. As a bonus, special time can strengthen the parent-child bond, build trust, and nurture the child’s sense of self-worth.
During Special Time, the child experiences the joy of having their parent's complete attention. This focused interaction can significantly enhance a child's emotional well-being, reinforcing their feeling of being valued and understood. It's an opportunity for parents to enter their child's world, see things from their perspective, and engage in activities that the child finds meaningful.
Special time is the perfect opportunity to practice your new PRIDE skills! Start small. Try 5 minutes of one-on-one time a day—a little goes a long way! During Special Time, aim to avoid commands, questions, or corrections. Focus just on the connection.
Tips for using PRIDE skills during Special Time:
Use praise that feels authentic to you
Let your child lead the play
Stay present—even for just a few minutes (leave your phone in another room—that’s what we do.)
PRactice the pride skills all day long
PRIDE skills don’t have to be limited to Special Time. Here’s how PRIDE can fit into regular moments:
Morning Routine
🗣️ Praise: “Awesome job putting your shoes on the first time I asked!”
🗣️ Describe: “You’re packing your lunch and getting your bag together so quickly.”
On a Walk
🗣️ Imitate: Make silly sounds or play car-spotting games alongside your child.
🗣️ Enjoy: “I love taking walks with you—it’s fun to explore together.”
Mealtime
🗣️ Reflect
Child: “I don’t like broccoli.”
Parent: “You don’t like broccoli.” — Without changing the rules, your child feels heard.
Homework
🗣️ Describe: “You’re really focused on forming those letters.”
🗣️ Praise: “I can tell you’re working hard on this—you’re sticking with it.”
Even a few moments of connection can shift your child’s mood—and yours. The more you use PRIDE skills, the more natural they become. Over time, they can transform not just behavior, but the entire tone of your relationship.
One final message
When you use PRIDE skills, you're saying something powerful:
“You matter. I enjoy you. I notice what’s going well.”
Want to learn more about PCIT or how these skills can fit your family? Reach out at hello@mindchicago.com or call 312.667.3775. We’re here to support you.
