Small Words, Big Respect: Why Pronouns Matter (and What Kids Can Teach Us)
By Mind Chicago co-owner and therapist, Dr. Lee Wells
Every year, International Pronouns Day reminds us of something seemingly simple but profoundly important: the words we use to talk about one another matter. They shape how we see ourselves, how we are seen, and how we connect with the world. For some of us, pronouns may feel very small or inconsequential. But for someone whose identity doesn’t fit neatly into a “he” or “she” binary, getting pronouns right can mean the difference between feeling recognized—or invisible.
At Mind Chicago, we talk a lot about mental health, self-expression, and creating spaces where people feel safe to be who they are. And language is foundational to all of that. When we honor someone’s pronouns, we’re saying, “I see you. I respect you. You exist as you are.” Conversely, misgendering—even unintentionally—can reinforce the kind of small, constant erasure that chips away at confidence and well-being.
Here’s the thing: using correct pronouns isn’t just about being polite. It’s about listening and learning. It’s about acknowledging that identity is deeply personal, and that each of us has the right to define ourselves—especially kids and teens. And for adults, sometimes the easiest way to start these conversations is by opening a book.
That’s where A Kids Book About Pronouns comes in. On the surface, it’s a simple, beautifully written, read-together book for kids and their grownups to talk about pronouns and identity. But peel back a layer, and you’ll see that it’s a gentle invitation for everyone—parents, teachers, even us therapists who sometimes stumble over new language—to have meaningful conversations about identity and respect.
Reading this book with a child is more than storytime. It’s a practice in empathy. It’s an exercise in listening. And it’s a reminder that teaching respect and recognition starts early. But the lessons don’t stop at bedtime; they echo into our daily lives. The questions kids ask—“Why do some people use ‘they’ instead of ‘he’ or ‘she’?”—often open the door for adults to reflect on their own assumptions and biases.
Using correct pronouns is, at its core, an act of care. And like all acts of care, it takes attention, practice, and a willingness to sometimes get it wrong—and try again. International Pronouns Day is a nudge, a checkpoint in the year to pause and consider: Are we really listening? Are we really seeing each person in front of us for who they are?
So today, let’s celebrate curiosity, respect, and the power of small words to make a big difference. Pick up a copy of A Kids Book About Pronouns, read it aloud, ask questions, make mistakes, and learn together. Because pronouns are more than grammar—they’re a bridge to understanding, empathy, and belonging. And in that, we all win.
